How to Reject when you're Rejecting

How to reject a candidate with empathy and compassion

In a perfect world, we'd have all offers to all jobs, in all companies, all the time. But if you were on any side of the job search process, then you're familiar with rejection. Professional actors and sales reps routinely deal with the company after company saying "no," sometimes after several hours invested into audition or sales presentation. The rest of us are not that bulletproof against the pain that rejection brings. And rejection is pain, according to science. There is even some evidence that Tylenol might be useful against it. 

On the other hand, if you're a recruiter or a hiring manager, you might have a whole pool of professionals you don't want to reject, but you only have one job opening.

No matter how significant your role is in the selection process, any way you handle it, rejection sucks. But when employers don't reject candidates with a sense of professionalism, being rejected is even worse. 

The awful kinds of rejection communication:

No rejection communication.

People put time and effort into submitting their applications and jumping through hoops of the selection process. Sometimes people take off work, hire babysitters, organize their entire day around just interviewing for the job you have open.

If someone has taken the time to interview with you, even when you know they're not just what you are looking for, make sure you at least email them and thank them for their time and skills. The more times you see someone, the more critical it is. 

Don't ghost your candidates; it's unprofessional and tone-deaf.

The letter with the backhanded compliment.

"Dear Samantha,

Thank you for the interview! We enjoyed meeting you. We had a lot of great candidates, and it was hard to choose one. While we enjoyed meeting with you, we decided to take a different direction.

Thanks again!"

One of the biggest bummers in rejection letters is: "we had a lot of great candidates, and it was hard to choose one." It may sound like you're telling your applicant that they are great, among other great people, you're also telling them that they're not "great" enough for your job.

While someone might not meet the caliber you're looking for, they might perfectly match someone else's job. Think about what you say; even if it's unintentional on your end, backhanded compliments can be very hurtful.

The patronizing rejection letter.

"Dear Jayden,

Thank you so much for applying for the job with our company! We received many applications, and we wish we could offer you this position, but we can't hire everyone!

Better luck next time!"

People know that looking for a job brings a possibility of rejection. If you wanted to hire someone, you would. And they know that. There's never a need to say: "we wish we could hire everyone, but we just can't." For real, never make it sound like you're talking to the five-year-old that lost the little league game.

The phone call without agenda.

"Dear Valery,

We want to talk to you this week. Do you have time?"

While delivering rejection in person could be a good idea, the invitation without agenda can keep people on their toes and make them hopeful. So when you call and crush their expectations, that could be even more painful for the person. So if you want to deliver the news in person, let the candidate know that they will not get an offer, but you wanted to provide feedback and express your gratitude in person. 

While rejection isn't fun to do, there are ways to do it as efficiently and painlessly as possible. Three types of rejection communication help ease the blow:

Plain and simple.

"Dear Cathy,

Thank you for your application, but we could not offer you the position at this time. We appreciate your time and energy!

Thanks again!"

Often, a simple "no, thank you" is enough. Detailed rejections can feel like they're beating around the bush while applicants search for their "yes" or "no." If you don't have something specific you think you need to say, then say it as uncomplicated and straightforward as possible. Most people are just happy to have an answer, they will accept it, and move on. This is also a perfect template for an ATS rejection message. 

A sincerely heartfelt letter.

"Dear John,

Thank you so much for the time you invested in interviewing with us. 

Unfortunately, we had to go in a different direction. But, John, you had such a great experience, skills and attitude, we were impressed with your achievements. Thank you so much, and please, let's stay in touch."

Sending personal rejections should only be done occasionally. Personal notes take time, and sometimes you'll have many people and won't have something genuine to say to everyone. Make sure that if you're sending a personal rejection, it's because someone impressed you, and you want to make sure they know you appreciate them. If this is the case, a personal rejection letter goes a long way and is very refreshing.

A letter with a follow-up call

"Dear Christine,

Thank you for your application, but we could not offer you the position at this time. You made a great impression, and I would be happy to talk in person and provide you feedback. Would you be open to a phone call? 

Thanks again!"

Needless to say, that this approach can also be only applied selectively, and you should make sure to prepare and provide actionable and constructive feedback to a person, that can improve their chances to land a great gig.

Of course, in this COVID economy, people will sometimes take five or six interviews per week and never get called again without any notice. But if we could adopt the principle of always communicating a decision (whether a yes or no), it would make being a job seeker that much better.

If you can send a quick note, take the two minutes, and do it. A little message goes a long way, and it will keep people wanting to work with you!